Because I became a worthy and confident woman, a deserving man found me.
I met the best, most suitable man for me. the man of my dreams.
CASE STUDY: SYLU MURATOVA
CONSULTANT, HAPPY MOTHER AND BRIDE
I had a very physically demanding job. I worked at a factory where there were 100 men and 20 women per shift, and we all worked equally hard, building modular apartments. I was essentially grouting tiles in the corners. We had to meet our quotas, and we had to stick to the production plan. Gender differences didn’t matter; they had no significance. The work was not only grueling but also long. The shifts were 12 hours, and I often stayed for overtime, working 15–16 hours. Sometimes, I worked a full 24-hour shift, rested for 12 hours, and by evening, I was back at work again. There was even a 24-hour rotation schedule at times.
Before working with Bota, I believed I didn’t deserve anything better because, as they say, "a worm can’t learn to fly." Coming from a simple family where everyone worked basic jobs, I thought I had to live the same way. I genuinely believed I couldn’t work an easy or comfortable job because it simply wasn’t meant for me. It felt like working an easy job was reserved for the chosen few, and neither I nor my family were part of those chosen ones.
So, I was either working around the clock or, during the times when I wasn’t working, I was sleeping. I would sleep for 17 hours straight, sometimes for entire days. I’d wake up just to drink or eat and then go back to sleep. And this cycle continued. It was a way to escape reality. I just didn’t want to open my eyes to the world and live the life I had.
I’ve been working since I was 20 years old, and even then, I had a tough job on my feet. I often stayed for overtime shifts, working 15 hours. Sometimes, it was a full 24-hour shift. Afterward, I’d get 12 hours of rest and then go back to work by evening. Most of my coworkers were men, and we were all treated equally—everyone survived however they could. I didn’t feel like a woman at all; it was as if everyone was genderless.
PAINFUL RELATIONSHIPS WITH MEN
I have always been like an addition to something else. The main issue was my distrust of men because I always had this sense of déjà vu— the same scenario would repeat itself. A man would betray me and leave. Relationships with men were always associated with pain, and I was afraid to enter them. At one point, I even forbade myself from feeling anything for a man. I didn’t know how to build relationships and constantly found myself in situations where the man would eventually choose someone else. I couldn’t understand why, especially since, at the time, I thought I was doing everything for them.
A vivid example, of course, is my ex-husband. I thought we had a love like no other. As it seemed to me, I did so much for him. I supported him in everything, and when he left, it felt like a knife in the back. I struggled to process it for a long time. It was such a shock—my entire world collapsed. I didn’t even think about myself. I thought I was a good wife, trying to help him and support him in every way. In our relationship, he made all the decisions, and I was just an accessory. His betrayal was such a blow; I couldn’t comprehend how someone could betray me like that.
After that, I closed myself off. I was afraid of other men because I didn’t know what to expect from them. It felt like they would smile to my face but secretly just want to take advantage of me or my money. I started approaching men with caution, always assuming they would inevitably betray me, leave me, or do something behind my back. This mindset prevented me from building relationships and remarrying. I forbade myself from feeling anything because it was too painful. At that time, I believed I was no longer capable of loving anyone.
I used to think I was unworthy, not just of a worthy man, but I believed I was unworthy of any man at all. I was always surprised if anyone liked me, and the idea that someone could marry me was something out of the ordinary. When my husband married me, it felt like a miracle, something extraordinary to me.
The very fact that I exist, just that, was not enough for me. I felt like I didn’t deserve anything. And when it came to choosing a man, I built relationships with those who showed interest in me, because I didn’t have the awareness that I could choose for myself. I thought that whether it was about work, men, money, or relationships—everything seemed like it was about them choosing me. I felt like I was nobody, and whoever would take pity on me, whoever would come along, would be the one to take me.
I was always like an addition to something. The man would initiate everything, then leave, as if I had no say in the matter, and in a way, that’s how it was. I developed this belief that men were either jerks or worthy, but if he was mine, then he must be a jerk, and if he was a worthy man, I wasn’t worthy of him.
I thought I was unattractive. I waited to be chosen, for someone to notice me. And when someone complimented me, saying I was beautiful, I thought either they wanted something from me, or they were flattering me or pitying me. I thought I needed to change a lot about myself to be normal. I wasn’t happy with who I was and believed that I needed to change a lot to be satisfied with myself. My goal was to please them because I thought that to be chosen, I had to be liked, I had to be easygoing. I didn’t know how to say “no.” I thought men were more important, but not just men—everyone, anyone, except for me. I always thought about others, and the idea of thinking about myself was, in a way, an eye-opener in my work with Bota.
APPEARANCE AND SELF-EXPRESSION
I thought I needed to change a lot about myself to be normal. I was dissatisfied with who I was and believed I needed to change many things about myself to be happy with who I was. It was difficult to express myself because I never put myself out there, never took the initiative. At some events, I was afraid that I’d be noticed, invited, or that something would happen. In the beginning, it was hard for me to communicate with Bota through video. I was afraid to appear in public.
I obsessed over how I looked, what I said, and that something was wrong with me. I had a "don’t stand out" program, and whenever I “stood out,” it made me uncomfortable. I was concerned about what people would say, what they would think—people I didn’t even know and who didn’t have any impact on my life. I had a fear of public opinion. When I got divorced, I obsessed about what people would say because it was "abnormal." I also obsessed about being a single mother. Everything went through the filter of what people would think. I was afraid to express myself, to the point where I couldn’t even ask a passerby for directions on the street. For me, that was very hard. I was afraid that my questions or requests would inconvenience others. I was also afraid of going to new places, afraid of job interviews, afraid of cameras, afraid to record or have video calls. I even feared recording voice messages because I thought my voice wasn’t right.
RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY
When it came to money, there was never enough. Money only came through physical, hard labor. I was afraid to speak up about myself, about my desires. When I was a child, I had a neighbor who, when she opened her door, had a whole row of shoes. That was such a dream for me, because I only had one pair of shoes for an entire season, and by the end of the season, they were already worn out. Even in my adult life, I always had just one pair of shoes. I didn’t realize that it was possible to have several pairs of shoes. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand—I simply didn’t have the opportunity to buy what I needed at any moment. There were times when money ran out, and I didn’t even have enough for bread. Those moments were frequent.
Before working with Bota, I believed that money could only be earned by working hard. In other words, I earned it with my own sweat. I didn’t understand that I needed to value myself, that I needed to take care of myself. I worked like Papa Carlo, like a horse. I was fulfilling requirements that weren’t even related to my job. But if someone told me it needed to be done, I did it. I didn’t know how to say no. Everyone took advantage of me, and, in a way, I agreed to it.
FEMININE ENERGY. SELF-LOVE. SELF-WORTH
I was half a man. By that time, I had already realized that I couldn’t rely on men. I was afraid of them, and therefore, I didn’t think about femininity. I thought more about survival—how to earn money, how to live life in general. I couldn’t express my femininity or even think about finding it. When I tried, I was afraid it would just lead to some kind of disaster. I didn’t even feel the need to be feminine. I didn’t think about it at all. I had to focus on working, there was no time, I had to grind away. There was only time for work, sleep, and leaving. Even thinking about feminine energy, femininity—I had no strength, desire, or time for that. I didn’t even understand it.
I certainly didn’t trust men. I didn’t know what to expect from them anymore. I didn’t trust the world either because I was afraid to leave my job and afraid to be without money. I didn’t trust myself either, because if I trusted myself, I would have looked for another job, I would have left. I would have known that I could handle it, but I didn’t have that confidence. On the level of my ancestral script, I had a "self-destruction" program, which came from my father, who committed suicide. My mother always said that I resembled my father, both in appearance and in character and mannerisms. She would always point out that I was like him, that I was just as useless, just as unsuccessful. I always associated myself with being my father’s daughter.
I always had this thought—how to live this life, or again, I was somehow wrong, again I did something wrong. I would constantly criticize myself; it was a constant self-flagellation. I felt like I was an object. People could take me, put me down, or throw me away. Everyone made decisions for my life, except for me. If I went to work, they decided whether they would hire me or not, and the same thing happened in relationships with men. I was afraid of interviews; I went in with the belief that I wouldn’t get the job, that I wasn’t worthy of it, that I wouldn’t succeed, that I was worthless, that I wouldn’t be able to do it. Regardless of how simple the job was, I thought I wouldn’t be chosen because I was worse than others. The same thing happened in relationships with men. I had no idea that I could choose. I thought, maybe someday someone would notice me, and I’d be thankful to them, bowing to the ground. Maybe, just maybe, I would get married, something like that. I was always inside, criticizing myself for something.
I spent my whole life thinking I was unattractive, and I was completely sure of it. When people paid attention to me, I was surprised. How could this be? I’m unattractive. Because I thought I didn’t exist, that I wasn’t good enough, I always put other people and their needs before mine. I didn’t know that I could want something, choose something. I always tried to be accommodating, to please others. I just went with the flow, and I didn’t make any decisions. Things were decided by situations, circumstances, and people, and I was just an accessory.
Since I had the subconscious program of "I don’t exist," it was hard for me to love or care for myself. I found it very difficult to do anything for myself. Taking care of myself, investing in myself, using creams, doing exercises—it was all so hard. Even at work, for example, I didn’t even bring my own lunch, because I wasn’t used to taking care of myself.
INABILITY TO BE WITH DAUGHTER
At that time, I felt like I hadn’t fulfilled my role as a mother. I have a daughter, but she didn’t live with me for six years. I was in a state where I still didn’t know how to take responsibility for myself. It was very difficult for me to step out of my comfort zone and take on the responsibility for my daughter.
It felt too hard, almost impossible. I didn’t believe I could manage on my own with a child. There were so many fears. I was afraid to take her back because I wasn’t used to looking after her, living with her, and I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to handle it. I feared that I wouldn’t be able to manage financially, emotionally, or even in terms of time.
THE CHALLENGE
POINT “a”: UNWILLINGNESS TO LIVE AND PROLONGED DEPRESSION
Before meeting Bota, life seemed to pass me by, and I felt as though I didn’t exist. It felt like circumstances controlled me, as if I had no influence over my life, and everything was left to chance. I was living in Moscow, sharing an apartment with other girls.
I was in a deep depression, in a state of despair, and had suicidal thoughts. I didn’t understand how to live this life, why I was here, or how to survive. My depressive state lasted for several years. I remember always feeling terrible and not knowing what to do about it.
I suffered from panic attacks and a constant undercurrent of anxiety. When the anxiety grew stronger, it felt like it couldn’t be contained in my body, which would trigger panic attacks. My life felt like it was shrouded in fog. I didn’t know where to go, what to do, or how to live—it was complete chaos.
I didn’t want to wake up to face the world and deal with its problems. Sleep became my solution—if I was asleep, I didn’t have to see it. My energy was at zero.
I simply didn’t want to wake up. And when I did wake up, there were moments when I would think about jumping out of the window. I would pass by the window and wonder, “What would happen if I jumped? What would it feel like? What’s out there? What does flying feel like?” These strange, scary, uncontrollable thoughts would come to me, and even though I knew they weren’t normal, they wouldn’t go away. I didn’t want anything. I would wake up, and I didn’t know what to do at all. Everything felt like it was in a fog.
I lived a life where I didn’t make any decisions for myself. I was just drifting with the current, unaware that I could influence my own life, that I had the power to make decisions.
THE PROCESS
I tried searching for information online, read books, even participated in group training and marathons, but none of this helped me solve my problem.
At some point, I realized that I couldn’t continue living like this. What surprised me in working with Bota was that she communicated with me personally, it was one-on-one work. Because, as we later discovered, I had a program that I didn’t exist and that I shouldn’t be in this world. I believed I didn’t deserve attention. And it was unusual for me that a person was engaging with me personally, interested in me, asking about my problems. It was touching and unusual. I was also impressed by the method of working with the subconscious.
During our first conversation, I didn’t feel like someone was trying to sell me something or just make money off me. Bota’s voice inspired trust in me. When we started working together, my only wish was to find some joy in life. I just wanted something to change.
Bota played a huge role in my personal growth. Now, even reading our first conversations, I’m amazed that I was ever like that. It feels like that was a different life and it didn’t happen to me. Now I understand that I’m a completely different person.
I believe that I was incredibly lucky to meet Bota. I’ve always wanted to have someone like an older wise sister, a mentor, who would guide me through life, because from movies or real-life situations, I understood that people help each other. I had that dream, thinking how great it would be if I had such a person. I’m happy and grateful that this person manifested in the form of Bota. It’s such good luck. And probably, it’s also a sign that the Higher Power loves me, as it sent her to me. But it also means that working on yourself is the key to a happy life.
I can’t even imagine what would have happened to me if we hadn’t met, how it all would have ended, what state I would be in now, and whether I would even be here.
THE RESULTS:
Working with Bota helped me break free from the destructive programs that were ruining me and my life. Bota identified the reasons why I was living this way, why I had suicidal thoughts. I started truly living, because before that, it was just existence, survival, and not understanding what I was doing in this world. We did an enormous amount of work. Even today, at the level of how I feel about myself and my emotions, I understand that I have changed my ancestral script. I’ve chosen a different path. I feel this in every moment. Now I know that I exist, I know who I am and why I am in this world.
MONEY WITH EASE AND A NEW COMFORTABLE, BELOVED JOB
THAT PART OF ME, WHICH WAS READY TO WORK NONSTOP LIKE A HORSE - IT HAS BEEN GONE FOR A LONG TIME
The second big result was that I stopped working in physically heavy jobs. As it turned out, working in such jobs was a consequence of my self-destruction program and a continuation of my family scenario through my father's line. And when Bota helped me uncover, realize, and get rid of this part of me that believed I didn't deserve life, I changed. I understood that not only did I not want to work in physically demanding jobs, but even if I wanted to, I couldn't.
After working with Bota, I felt that I was good enough, that I deserved to work in a job that was comfortable for me, in an intellectual job, and that I could learn anything. If I had a subconscious program in the past that said I was worthless, capable of nothing except hard physical labor, after working with Bota, I understood that even a bear can be taught to dance. So, why not me? Why am I worse than a monkey or a bear? From that moment on, everything started to turn around, I realized I am capable, I can learn anything. And that's exactly what happened.
The result surpassed all my expectations and manifested in my life as a completely different job. Now I work in a comfortable job, a job I love, with zero stress. It's an online sales e-commerce business. The job is easy, comfortable, in a great team, without stress, without hurry, and not physically demanding anymore. I have a flexible schedule, so I no longer have to work nonstop like before. There's no 'from clock in to clock out' anymore. After work, I'm not tired. I still have energy left for myself, for life, and for my child. When I started this job, I immediately knew I wanted to be here, even when I switched my shoes to house slippers. It's beautiful here, cozy - I want to be here, it feels like home. Now I have a sitting job, I don't get tired like I did before. I'm still amazed that I could work so hard before.
The team is so wonderful and the relationships are so good, that here, there's no boss-employee dynamic. Instead, there are simply great human relationships. I am surrounded by smart people, and the job is already intellectual. There are no shouting matches or complaints, nothing like that. Most of the team is also men. But here, I feel like a woman. I can sense this, and I know it. I feel a gentle attitude towards me from my male colleagues, a gentle attitude specifically towards me as a woman. They open doors for me. They ask about my well-being throughout the day, whether I'm hungry, if everything is okay.
When I worked at my previous job, I could carry heavy objects, like water buckets, and nobody noticed, everyone just worked, and it was normal. But now, they won't even let me move a chair on my own. They tell me to ask if I need anything done. If before everyone was genderless and equal, each surviving as best as they could, now I feel a gentle attitude towards me as a woman.
So, the work is structured in a way that makes it comfortable for a person to work. The predominant attitude is human-centered, and there is a delicate and respectful attitude toward women. Now, I go to work with a desire, not just because I have to. I no longer force myself. The work is comfortable. It's like a home environment. We even wear house slippers, meaning we change our shoes. The office is cozy and beautiful. The team is attentive.
No one demands that I work tirelessly; the company’s policy is that we all do a common job, and it's important that everyone feels comfortable, that everyone contributes what they can, but wants to do it with pleasure and in comfort. In our company, you can take a day off whenever you want. All you have to do is say that you’re tired or need a break. They care about preventing employee burnout.
It's like I don’t even go to work. It feels more like I've come to a creative club, done something, counted something, talked, and even get paid for it as a bonus. It feels more like I just came and did some of my tasks. And when it comes to money – before, I had to work twice as much for this money and it was much harder. Now, I have time for my life, my home, my child, and my personal desires. I don't feel like I’ve spent the whole day working. Now, I don’t work myself to exhaustion, but I earn much more.
I FEEL THAT I’M FINALLY LIVING. I FEEL THAT I EXIST. I FEEL THAT I CAN LIVE THE WAY I WANT. I CAN FULFILL MY DESIRES. I FEEL THAT I HAVE A RIGHT TO THIS LIFE. I FEEL LIKE THE OWNER OF MY LIFE.
When one day the manager said that he had conducted 700 interviews before choosing a candidate, I was really surprised because it turned out that this position had high competition, and I got the job right away, which was a pleasant surprise for me. I understood that it was natural, and I knew that it was normal for me to be hired. But the fact that it was hard to get in there surprised me. And I was pleasantly surprised that the person immediately understood that I was a good fit. He said that during the interview, he immediately realized that we would work well together, that I had potential, and that I was needed in the company. This was a huge indicator for me that I deserve the best. My internal perception of myself reflected in my work. The fact that I feel I deserve the best, and that vision materialized in real life, with the result being a job that is comfortable for me.
If before I had to attach myself to certain things and take pride in them, as if I were an addition to them, after the extensive work with Bota, I became a different person. I started going to interviews with the feeling of whether I need this job or not, whether I like it or not.
All of this means to me that, as it turns out, it is possible to earn money with ease, in comfort, and that I deserve it. This is a huge indicator for me. The fact that I’m good enough not only in words but in reality. It’s a fact that I’m truly getting what I deserve. It turns out that I can also work with my mind, not just with my hands. This is an indicator that I’m unfolding as a person. My abilities, which were blocked before, are now opening up. That’s because when I was focused on survival, there was no room for abilities; survival was the priority, it was about working hard and struggling.
MONEY BEGAN TO COME FROM DIFFERENT SOURCES.
Now I feel complete freedom. I work a million times easier and earn twice as much. Now I earn 120,000 rubles, which once seemed like an unreal amount to me. And I didn’t have to work more for this. On the contrary, I started working less, and the income came. I realized that money can come not only from work, but from different sources. My child’s father, who used to be unwilling to participate much in his daughter’s life, has become more active. He now sends a certain amount every month, and he came to this conclusion himself. I didn’t have to persuade him. Because my self-perception changed, I developed the belief that I am good enough, that I deserve the best. And this belief affected my money as well.
In order for money to come, I don’t need to work myself to the bone. I don’t have to work all the time. Money can be earned with ease, in relaxation, without any stress. No fuss, no running around, no physically hard labor.
My consumption threshold has increased, and for this, I don’t have to kill myself at work like before. Now I work with pleasure, and in addition, money comes to me from other sources. This result is a clear sign for me that my work with Bota helped me get rid of my destructive ancestral scenario and the self-destructive program that was holding me back.
Before, work was my life. I had nothing else. I gave all my time, energy, and strength to it. There was simply no time for anything else. Now, work is just a part of my life, a pleasant part that I enjoy. And I earn much more money than when I was physically exhausted from work.
I feel like I can live the way I want. I can fulfill all my desires. I feel like I have the right to this life. I can live it the way I want, the way I dream. I feel like the mistress of my life. I don’t feel like circumstances are deciding for me. Now I understand that the most important person in my life is myself. I enjoy making my own decisions.
I moved to Moscow because it was necessary, because I had to work. But when I started working on myself, I began to listen to myself and understand my true desires. Moving to Kazan was my desire, Kazan is my city, and in Kazan, I realized that it’s not about where I am, but about me, about living my life, and understanding what’s best for me.
I MET MY WORTHY MAN. THE MAN OF MY DREAMS.
POINT “B”
I’VE GOTTEN RID OF THE SELF-DESTRUCTION PROGRAM FOREVER
Through working with my subconscious, Bota uncovered the root causes of my problems and helped me eliminate them forever. She dug deep into the essence, found the underlying reasons why I decided that I shouldn’t live, why I had a self-destruction program running, why I felt like I didn’t exist, why I felt like I was unnecessary in this world.
My depression disappeared. If before, I could sleep for days to avoid facing what was happening in my life, now that is gone. Now I sleep exactly as much as my body and mind need to recover. This is the first result that really surprised me. Looking back, I find it surprising now how I could have lived like that.
When I wake up, the voice that says I’m not good enough, that I don’t know how to live this life, is gone. That voice is no longer there. My panic attacks disappeared. If before, there was constant anxiety in the background, now I feel calm and relaxed inside. Now I wake up and I am grateful that I woke up. I wake up with joy and gratitude, knowing I have a new day ahead. My days no longer pass as if whatever happens will happen. I have a clear plan for what I need to do during the day. I live my life the way I decide, the way I believe is right.
I became my own support and a caring parent. I’ve established a connection with my body and my feelings. I understand my feelings, and I accept them. I found myself, I met the real me, I found support within myself, and my self-perception has changed from 'I don’t exist, I’m unnecessary in this world,' 'I shouldn’t be here,' 'I have no right to be in this world' to 'I exist,' 'I have the right to be,' 'I am needed in this world, I am important in this world.'
Bota helped me find and get rid of a destructive program related to relationships. It turned out that because, on a deep level, I felt like I was the daughter of an unworthy father, I thought that I was unworthy. My dad drank, so I was the daughter of an alcoholic. I believed I couldn't aspire to anything.
To protect myself from pain, since I couldn’t trust men, I needed to keep my distance from them. Deep down, I thought that yes, I deserved this because I wasn’t good enough, just as I was treated in childhood, and that it was normal. Bota helped me understand and remove the root cause of why men often said one thing and did another, why they chose someone else over me.
When we worked on this, I realized that this part of me just wanted to protect me. It was a form of self-preservation instinct. It was my way of surviving at that time. During the session, I even physically felt the warmth leave my body from the soles of my feet to the back of my head, as if something warm and heavy had been drawn out of me, like I was completely freed. I was, how can I say it, shocked, really surprised. It was as if everything that had been preventing me from building a family, the life I dreamed of, had been taken out of me. I was freed from something very heavy, powerful, and negative. Something that had been poisoning my life, you could say.
After working with Bota, worthy men started to appear in my surroundings—in my field, at work, among acquaintances, someone's brother, brother-in-law, husband. I began to notice them, that they were real, and I started to find myself in their circle, because before that, there were just men, by gender. And after that, worthy men began to appear as potential partners for me.
I registered on a dating site and met the best, the most worthy man for me, the man of my dreams. Sometimes I’m even amazed at how everything matched up. Because before, I would think, yes, he's a good man, but there was always some point that didn’t suit me. But here, even our height matched, our appearance matched, our views aligned. I sometimes feel like he is the male version of me.
Because I became a worthy woman, a worthy man was attracted to me. His profile said, "I'm a great man, looking for a great woman for a future together." If the old version of Sulu had seen this profile, she would have thought, "Oh, great man, some great woman will get him," and moved on. But I saw him and thought, "Oh, great man, I'm a great woman, it all matches."
So, that’s it, we found each other, and I liked him back. We started talking, and it’s so amazing, again showing how much I’ve changed after working with Bota. I started raising my standards – it’s as if he was brought to me by order. There was no way I wouldn’t like him. My first thought was, yes, this is my future husband.
We share the same views on life, even our nationality aligns. I wanted an Arab, and I also like other languages, like English, Arabic, and French. I wanted a husband who speaks those languages because I dream of learning them and mixing them together. And here, I got a bonus – he’s an Arab who speaks Arabic, French, English, and even Russian. And he speaks them well and fluently. He speaks five languages, he’s intelligent, he studied in Russia, and he’s a doctor. A man who knows what he wants in life, who shares the same values as I do, he also wants a family, and family is his top priority too. He doesn’t think the wife should provide for the family – that’s also very important to me.
I’m just amazed every time I bring up a topic, and he says exactly what I’m thinking. It was important for me that he’s a Muslim, as I am. He’s a Muslim, and even our views on religious matters align. Everything aligns, it feels like we have one mind between us, kindred souls.
At times, I can let myself off the hook, and he does the same. And there are certain things, solid as concrete, that cannot be broken, which are important, and in this we also align. Honestly, sometimes it feels like he’s the male version of me. Our energies have synchronized so much that it’s amazing how similarly we can feel and think. He even deleted his profile from the dating site, which he didn’t tell me about, but for me, that’s a sign too. Out of all the options, he chose me.
We have mature, reasonable relationships as two serious individuals. We don’t have any arguments, ultimatums, or drama. There are no emotional swings or childish moments. We discuss our future plans, where we’ll live, where we’ll hold our weddings (since we’re from different countries, we’ll have two weddings). We talk about how many children we’ll have, what we’ll do, and so on. On global and important matters, our views align. We want to integrate both countries' traditions into our lives, as much as possible. It’s about respecting each other, respecting each other’s traditions, respecting family.
Since I have a teenage daughter, it was important for me how my future husband would treat my child. My man has a younger sister, also a teenager, 14 years old, and he treats her with great care, very tenderly, even when talking about her. He has a delicate attitude towards the women in his family. The way he treats his sister shows me that he will treat my daughter well. We don’t want to change anything about each other. We communicate from a place of “everything’s okay with you, everything’s okay with me.” By default, everything is fine with us. We communicate as equals, as partners, not as people trying to change each other or act as educators.
We are simply two adults who know what they want and where they’re going. If before, I didn’t know how to choose, I didn’t even realize I could choose, now I do. First of all, I know how to choose. Secondly, my choice is right, and that’s proven by the kind of man I’ve chosen and the job I’ve chosen. It turns out that this choice is mutual and correct. I chose the right man, the right job, and they both chose me.
After working with Bota, I once caught myself realizing that I started seeing men as people. Not just a good candidate, a lucky option, a good job, or something like that, but that I started to feel an interest in them. And now, with my man, I feel a flutter, a sense of youthful infatuation. Along with the feeling that I am worthy and deserve the best, I got my ability to feel back. I didn’t just choose my man based on his qualities, on the fact that he’s a worthy man – I already had feelings for him, butterflies in my stomach. This was something that seemed completely impossible in the past years. And it’s the same for him. This made me very happy. I understand that this is the man I need, and he understands the same. We’ve aligned in terms of values, views on life, goals, and plans for the future. Everything has fallen into place. And, in addition to that, feelings have blossomed between us.
To summarize – I met a worthy man who aligns with all my criterias: values, views on life, plans, goals, faith, nationality – everything matched. Even his last name suited me, and I decided that yes, I want to change my last name. Even in such small details, everything aligns.
At the same time, I chose him not only with my mind but also with my heart. I have feelings for him, and they are mutual!
I'VE DEVELOPED TRUST IN MYSELF, IN LIFE, AND IN MEN. I BELIEVE IN MYSELF, AND I NO LONGER EXPECT BETRAYAL IN EVERYTHING.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE OLD VERSION OF ME AND WHO I AM NOW IS SO huge THAT IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE I WAS EVER LIKE THAT.
I have reached complete acceptance of myself. I accept myself in any situation, in any form. I know that I am enough, I am worthy of the best, and I allow myself to be anyone. If people pay attention to me, I understand that it's normal. I know I can choose, and when people pay attention to me, I understand that it's natural. I also know that I deserve men to pay attention to me, I deserve them wanting to build a family or a relationship with me. My internal state, my self-worth, and my opinion about myself and my appearance have changed.
There was an instance when I worked in a company with a clothing brand, and models would come in. A fairly attractive man from a significant team took notice of me and left his number, even though all the girls were very beautiful, real models. This pleasantly surprised me. I understand that it happened because of my energy, because I now feel attractive, and I’ve gotten used to men paying attention to me. It no longer surprises me like it once did. I now know I can choose, so now I don't wonder, "Oh, how did this happen?" Instead, I think, "Well, yes, this can happen."
With every day, I keep discovering more about myself. Before, I thought "I'm incapable," "I'm worthless," but now I think, "Oh, interesting, I can do this and that." The feeling that I'm unable to do something is gone. Now I know that I can learn anything I need to. The only question is whether it’s mine or not, whether I find it interesting or not. I now rely on the fact that the most important person in my life is me, and all decisions are based on my "self." I make all decisions from this perspective. Now, my interests are the priority. I now know how to say "no," how to choose myself, and I know that I have a worthy man, and I am worthy of being with him.
Now, I have a sense of myself in life, that I am here. That I have the right to be in this life, that I am needed in this world, that I am important in this world. This is my life, and now there is "me" in it. Now, I enjoy making my own decisions. And when I realize I need to step out of my comfort zone, I think about the result.
My desires are important, my needs are important, now I can live my life and decide for myself how I want to live it. I can influence my life. I can choose who to be with, where to work, how to work. I make all my decisions and actions based on what is important to me, what I want. Now, I understand that the most important person in my life is me. Now, the most important opinion for me is my opinion about myself. I live my life and make decisions in it.
Thanks to working with Bota, I learned to love myself. I began to enjoy taking care of myself, even to the point where I cook something delicious for myself, making it beautifully presented. If before I wanted to do this for someone, for an important person, now I’ve become that important person to myself. Self-care began to show in me cooking for myself. I bought skincare products for myself. Before, I had purchased a lot of courses on exercises, on face gymnastics. They were waiting for their time. Thank God, that time has come. Everything I had been postponing in my life, I’ve started implementing now.
PROVENANCE
Bota helped me understand and eliminate my fear of being visible. As it turned out, when I was little, on a subconscious level, I decided that I shouldn’t inconvenience anyone, that I shouldn’t stand out, that I shouldn’t express myself, that I shouldn’t be noticeable. I carried this belief throughout my life. After working with Bota, I got rid of this program. Now I can express myself with ease, and all the moments that used to make me uncomfortable have disappeared. I’m no longer afraid to speak on video, record videos or audios, I no longer worry about how I look. I’m no longer scared to talk to a stranger. I now have the sense that I exist, and that’s okay, that’s natural. I don’t even think about whether something might be wrong. I’m a person, you’re a person, we can ask each other for things, we can say no to each other, and that’s okay. I realized that I can express myself in this world just like anyone else. Since I am here in this world, I have the same rights as anyone else.
Now, when I need to make a video call or record something, it's no longer a problem for me. I don't stress about how I look, I’m not afraid of looking silly, I’m not scared of saying something wrong. I understand that everything is fine with me, that everything is okay, and that no one is perfect. I know I can be whoever I want to be, I allow myself to be anyone, to look however I want. I understand that as a person, I have the right to feel different emotions and express myself in different ways. I realize that I can show myself in any form, simply because I am a person. I now express myself from the position that everything is okay with me, that I am worthy.
I remember the first time I had a video call with my man. I didn't think about how I looked, how I presented myself, or how I was speaking. It was just a conversation to get to know each other.
And of course, because I was studying him. The first thought that crossed my mind was: "Oh, my husband." And when we started talking more closely over time, I asked him, "What were your thoughts when you first saw me?" And he replied, "Oh, my wife."
INNER SUPPORT
Before, I didn’t have inner support, because subconsciously, I felt like I didn’t exist. If I didn’t exist, how could there even be support? I didn’t feel support either morally or physically. I had weak legs, I always got tired when standing for long periods of time, I had to sit down because even physically I didn’t feel supported, and the idea of internal support didn’t even cross my mind. After working with Bota, I gained support—both inner and outer. I physically began to feel stronger, my legs became stronger, and I started exercising. What once seemed impossible—putting stress on my legs—is now normal. I walk a lot, and it’s completely fine. I stand firmly on my feet—I no longer feel like my legs are trembling or shaking. Now, I feel support not only inside but also physically.
My inner support is reflected in the fact that I’m no longer afraid of challenges. I know I can handle them because I believe in myself. Problems are no longer problems, but tasks I can solve because, once again, I believe in myself and I’m there for myself. This support also passed on to my daughter, I’ve transferred it to her.
Before, I felt like a branch on a tree—without support, I could be broken by any gust of wind or blown away somewhere. Circumstances could influence me because there was no support. Now, I feel like a beautiful, strong tree with roots, blossoming and exuding confidence. I believe in myself and that I can handle any hardships. The fact that I stand firmly on my feet makes me realize that I exist, I have the right to be here, I matter in this world, and I have the right to a happy life. My existence in this world is not accidental.
FEMININE ENERGY. SELF-LOVE. SELF-WORTH.
Before, my feminine energy was suppressed. I was operating from a place of masculine energy, focused on survival, working hard, and I really had no time or energy for femininity. I had no resources or desire for embracing my feminine side. All my energy went into work, and that was just my priority.
Thanks to working with Bota, now I am in touch with my feminine energy and in a state of relaxation. It's comfortable for me, and there’s no stress at work. My true feminine qualities and abilities began to emerge. For me, this is self-expression. When I adopted the program "I am," I started to show up in the world, and right after that, my talents and abilities began to manifest.
First and foremost, my feminine energy began to flow when Bota helped me get rid of the self-destructive program. After that, I quit my job and found a role where I could express myself as a woman, not just as a genderless being. When I stopped pouring all my time and energy into work, relaxation followed, and my femininity started to blossom. My feminine energy began to be nurtured. I started making decisions based on a feminine perspective.
Now, I am happy with myself. I like how I look; I consider myself beautiful. I like what I see in the mirror. When I receive compliments, I believe them. I no longer think there’s a hidden agenda; I accept them with gratitude and believe they are sincere. I’ve realized that I don’t have to fit into any beauty standards. I have my own beauty, and I don’t have to be perfect all the time.
REUNION WITH DAUGHTER
Taking responsibility and becoming a role model.
After six years of separation from my daughter, I finally managed to take responsibility for her. It felt like something that was impossible, but I succeeded in bringing her to me. Now that we are together, it feels so easy and comfortable. It’s a huge result and a big victory. First, I took responsibility for myself and my life, and then I took responsibility for her and brought her here. Now, I feel that I have realized myself as a mother. I enjoy being a mother, I enjoy taking care of her, and I enjoy making decisions about her and our lives. Since I no longer get exhausted from work, I have energy left for myself, for my child, and for life.
Now, I am an example for her. An example of a dream come true. For six years, she lived separately from me, and her biggest dream was to live with her mother. Year after year, she carried this dream in her heart. I always told her that we would be together soon. Year after year, her faith dwindled, but when I brought her to me, it was a “wow” moment, the realization that it really happened. Now she says, "Mom, I once dreamed of having you by my side, living with you, and my dream came true." I understand that by my example, I was able to show her that it’s possible to live the life you want. And now, when she has her own dreams and desires, she knows that they can be realized.
It feels like those six years of separation never happened. I thought there could be a gap, misunderstandings between us. I was afraid of those moments, to be honest. But our separation did not affect our relationship. I am the most important person in her life. She is proud of me, loves and respects me. She wants to be like me—both externally, in behavior, and in habits. She is happy that we are together. I am the best mom for my daughter; she often tells me that. Even on her phone, I am saved as "the best mom on the planet."
She is proud of me. I realize that by my example, I was able to show her that you can live your life, live the life you want. This is a big victory for me, being a role model for my daughter, knowing that I now bear responsibility for her.
Thanks to the fact that I have gained inner support, I can now pass it on to my daughter. It’s about breaking the destructive patterns of my family’s past, changing the path to a happy life for myself, for my children, my descendants, and so on. Gaining support within myself has also impacted my child.
When she started school, at first, she reminded me of myself—she was insecure, no one wanted to be friends with her, and she also felt like an add-on or a supplement because she didn't understand that she could make friends on her own. She was bullied at school and called names. As I worked with Bota and changed, I started noticing that these changes were happening with my daughter as well. When the self-destructive program left and I became confident in myself, that confidence appeared in my daughter as well. Even her posture and walk changed. This pleasantly surprised me. She made friends, and now that we’ve moved, I brought her to live with me.
She's in a new school, a new class, and she made friends there. She feels confident and has integrated well into the group. She became the person others want to be friends with. She’s a confident girl who feels good both at school and wherever we go, whether it's children's centers or extracurricular activities—she immediately starts interacting. That feeling that something was wrong with her is gone now.
By working on myself, I also saw results in my daughter.She has become an authority in her class, and whereas before she wondered who would be her friend, now people want to be friends with her.
NOWW, IN MY LIFE, THERE IS ME. AND IN MY LIFE, THERE IS LIFE.
NOWW, IN MY LIFE, THERE IS ME. AND IN MY LIFE, THERE IS LIFE.
MOVING TO FAVORITE CITY AND A COMFORTABLE LIFE
Once, I moved to Moscow without even considering what I truly wanted. It was my way of surviving because there was more money and more job opportunities there. In a way, it was a betrayal of myself. As I later realized, it was due to a subconscious program that made me feel like I didn’t exist. Back then, I wasn’t aware of it. I moved to Moscow simply because it seemed like the right thing to do.
After working with Bota, I started listening to myself. I began to understand my true desires. Moving from Moscow to Kazan was a step outside my comfort zone. Of course, I had fears—would it work out? At the time, I believed that Moscow had more opportunities. But in the end, it turned out to be the best decision I could have made.
First and foremost, it was a decision of my soul, so to speak. Through my work with Bota, I realized that I wanted to live in Kazan—that Kazan is my city. Everything started falling into place even better than I had imagined—housing, work, and my social circle. I’m glad that, in that moment, I was able to take responsibility for myself and find the courage to move.
In Moscow, I rented an apartment with other girls. In Kazan, we live separately in a good apartment. It’s now my own space. We have a nice renovation—better than in Moscow. Now, I can invite whomever I want and, in general, do whatever I want. Because I have become the master of my own life. I am no longer just surviving—I am truly living my life.
After working with Bota, I finally began to feel like a woman—not a genderless being, as I had before. I became a woman in the full sense of the word—feminine, relaxed, light, and with a sense of dignity. I became a woman who chooses herself, who knows how to say "no," who has the power to make choices. I have fulfilled myself in all my roles. I found myself. I found my place in this life.
I became a woman who is worthy of the best, who knows what she wants, who takes responsibility for herself, her life, and her child. I became confident. I became a woman who takes care of herself, who puts her own needs first, who actively influences her own life.
I developed a deep sense of self-worth. Now, I see myself as beautiful. I love myself, I love life, I love people—and I feel that love in return, from people, from life, from the Divine. I am no longer afraid to show up fully in this life.
I became a woman who knows what she wants, who understands herself, who is in touch with her body, who has energy for life, who has rediscovered her passion for living. I now have the strength and desire to live. I became a woman with plans for the future. Before, I only thought about how to survive. Now, I think about how to live my life fully—brightly, beautifully, with dignity, in a way that brings value to the world. I now have big goals to make the world a better place. In the past, I would dismiss my own worth and qualities. But now, I have learned to recognize my impact, to see the moments where I have made someone’s life better.
I became a woman who brings beauty to the world simply by being herself. I became calm. I became peaceful. And no matter what happens, I now know that I will handle it. I have realized my significance, my value, my purpose. I understand that I am interesting, that I matter. I am no longer just surviving—I am truly living my beautiful life, aligned with my plans and my goals.
In my old life, I wasn’t truly present. I was just drifting, letting circumstances decide everything for me. But now, I am a woman who is fully present in her own life. When I first came to Bota, I was like a lost three-year-old child. Now, I am a grown, whole person. Bota has helped me grow into myself.
